


The Story of Blood and Tears

by RedfieldFamilyFan24



Series: Is This Really the Way? [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Child Din Djarin, Death Watch (Star Wars), Din Djarin Needs a Hug, Friendship, Good Parent Din Djarin, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mandalorians (Star Wars), Mentioned Anakin Skywalker, Mentioned Grogu | Baby Yoda, Mentioned Luke Skywalker, Mentioned Satine Kryze, POV Bo-Katan, POV Din Djarin, Pre Vizsla Being an Asshole, Protective Din Djarin, Sad Din Djarin, Teenage Bo-Katan, True Mandalorians (Star Wars), Ursa Wren is a good friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29344011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedfieldFamilyFan24/pseuds/RedfieldFamilyFan24
Summary: Two months have gone by since Grogu was taken by the Jedi and Din still thinks about him constantly. Bo-Katan hasn't liked Valentine's Day since a tragic event one day when she was a teenager. However, this Valentine's Day, she is determined to give someone something she was given long ago.Warning: This isn't a romantic story. It's actually fairly dark. I placed it in my Kryze Chronicles series but it's stand alone as I'd like them all to be.
Relationships: Bo-Katan Kryze & Koska Reeves, Bo-Katan Kryze & Ursa Wren, Bo-Katan Kryze/Pre Viszla, Bo-Katan Kryze/Pre Viszla but not in a good way, Din Djarin & Bo-Katan Kryze, Din Djarin & Grogu | Baby Yoda, Koska Reeves & Axe Woves, Ursa Wren and Pre Vizsla
Series: Is This Really the Way? [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2119992
Comments: 9
Kudos: 19





	The Story of Blood and Tears

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MandoGab](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MandoGab/gifts).



> CW Sexual assault
> 
> Oh, also this story got it's title from when I was writing it. I cut my finger and bled all over my keyboard. Also I cried writing it. I know there isn't a Valentine's Day in the SW universe but what fun is that?

It had been just over two months since the Jedi, who Cara later said was Luke Skywalker, had taken Grogu away. Every day Din told himself that he should be happy, Grogu was better off with someone who could protect him. It wasn’t like Din had done a good job despite how hard he had tried. The kid had been taken twice by Moff Gideon even if they had gotten him back. And he should be with someone who understood his weird powers. Every day, Din couldn’t help but wish he was back with him.

After Grogu left, Din thought about going off on his own. He even tried it for a a week but it didn’t work. Now he was back with his fellow Mandalorians on one of their ships they would use to take back Mandalore, which he really did find cursed. Din often would stare out the window off into space while rolling the ball that Grogu had been so obsessed with in his fingers. And Din would think even more about the kid. He was such an idiot. How could he not give this to Grogu? He hadn’t thought about it. Things had happened so fast. He had rescued Grogu and then there had been all the drama about the Darksaber. Din hadn’t known the whole story about it. He thought Moff Gideon was talking out of his ass and he hadn’t cared anyway about a laser sword anyway. Grogu was all that mattered. He’d do anything and fight anyone with any weapon to get his son back. 

His son… That was what Grogu was, despite everything. 

And then after the Darksaber drama wasn’t resolved, and still wasn’t, the dark troopers had attacked and then the Jedi had showed up and saved them all. And taken his son. The one Din loved more than anyone. 

But it was for the best… It was for the best… 

But that didn’t stop Din from crying then and still crying sometimes now. He didn’t care if people mocked him, not that anyone did. Not any of the Mandalorians who were still around. Not Bo-Katan or Koska. He hardly saw Axe and didn’t know what to think of him. Not that it mattered. All of this didn’t matter. 

Before Grogu, Din hadn’t been happy. All he had done was live bounty to bounty. Nothing mattered but making a living and donating to help other foundlings like he had once been. But he hadn’t had a family, and not even friends really. He had made friends after he got Grogu. He had been alone. 

And then he had Grogu. He hadn’t originally thought he’d keep him around. When he first saw Grogu… Din hadn’t known what to think. All that mattered at first was turning him in to the Empire and getting paid despite the guilty feeling he’d get when thinking about it. Then everything had changed. 

Din still regretted when he left him with the Empire for even a short time. His stomach twisted and he would hate himself, even though he knew that he would later save Grogu.

“Valentine’s Day? Such a joke, right?” Koska said, snapping Din out of his daydream. Bo-Katan was with her, like she often was, but Bo-Katan wasn’t saying anything and was just staring off in the distance. Bo was always hard to read. One of the only times Din had seen her show any emotion was when he got the Darksaber. Usually she hid what she was feeling. 

He had been worried she would try and attack him over the Darksaber, but she hadn’t. She was… well, not nice, but how she always was with him. She talked about uniting the clans and reclaiming Mandalore. Only sometimes, she would look at the Darksaber with the same look that confused him. 

He wished she would take the damn thing. She knew that he didn’t want to rule Mandalore. Ruling Mandalore sounded like a nightmare.

“Yeah, a joke,” Bo-Katan said, ending her silence. However, even then her voice didn’t show much emotion.

“The best Valentine’s would be getting Mandalore—“ Koska started to say. 

“Getting Mandalore back,” Axe said, sounding as confident as always as he walked in. “That would be the best Valentine’s Day for my wife. She’d be so impressed.” 

“It would be, Axe, but you weren’t even here when we captured Moff Gideon,” Koska said. “So you might not be as much of a hero and true Mandalorian like you think. Your wife would be impressed with me.” 

And then Koska went off on how she had been such a hero and Din couldn’t take it. It just reminded him more about how Grogu was gone and he didn’t even know where the kid was. He stormed out, not caring if he seemed rude. Bo-Katan, Koska, and Axe probably already thought he was. 

They probably thought he wasn’t a true Mandalorian. He certainly didn’t have royal blood like Bo-Katan of Clan Kryze of House Kryze. But none of that really mattered. Did it? It hadn’t to Grogu. And he what was mattered to Din. 

So he left. To find somewhere he could be alone. 

*** 

It would be easier not to follow Din. Being around Axe and Koska was easy. Bo-Katan could say the things she had since the Empire had first taken over years ago and Bo had refused to be a puppet ruler. She could speak of taking back Mandalore and reuniting the clans and how everything would be better. 

But today… today she just couldn’t. 

Still she acted how she was supposed to around the two of them, and then when she could, she left. She was going to find Din and she would talk to him. It was hard to talk to Din. Always had been. He wasn’t like Axe and Koska. Din… was challenging. Distance.

And yet…

It wasn’t that hard to find him. He had gone to a part of the ship that he thought only he went to. Toward the back. There really wasn’t much there except a view of the stars. Bo-Katan knew he went there, but she left him alone. She knew being alone was important sometimes. 

But today was different.

So she went into that room and sure enough he was standing there. Even with the mask on she could imagine pain was on his face. The same pain she had seen and felt in the air around him since Luke Skywalker had taken the baby. Luke Skywalker. What a twist. The last name Skywalker would always remind her of Obi-Wan Kenobi who had trained Anakin Skywalker. Obi-Wan, who had been the Jedi her sister was madly in love with. Now another person connected with Kenobi would be training Din’s kid. 

Anakin Skywalker must be Luke’s father. That just showed obviously the Jedi had no trouble making babies despite how they weren’t supposed to have attachments. Just typical. 

“You here to kill me?” Din asked as he turned around to face her. He had his helmet on, but Bo-Katan imagined he wasn’t showing much emotion anyway. 

Bo-Katan smirked. “No, I’m not here to kill you.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to kill you or duel you, Din, especially right now.” 

“But I have the Darksaber.” 

Bo-Katan couldn’t help but roll her eyes again. “Din, my friend once told her daughter anyone can hold the Darksaber. The trick is keeping it, along with your head.” Din stayed quiet. “I’m not going to do anything to you. I’m not your enemy.” 

No, she meant what she said about Mandalorians being stronger together. And Din was a Mandalorian. Maybe many back in the day, including her mother, would have bitched about him being a foundling, but Bo-Katan wouldn’t. Din was a Mandalorian. No part of her doubted that. 

And Bo-Katan just knew he would be important when they reclaimed Mandalore. Whether he had the Darksaber or not. She could feel it, even if she wasn’t force sensitive.

Din stared at her. 

“When we go to the Mandalore System…” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I won’t let you die, Din.” She couldn’t believe that she even said that. What was wrong with her? Telling someone you wouldn’t let them die was a huge mistake. Bo-Katan could remember her child self promising Satine she would be there for her and would protect her from anyone, even Sith and Jedi. 

Satine… Bo-Katan had failed her. Her sweet sister. So different than her and she always cared about Bo-Katan, even though she hadn’t deserved it eventually. 

Din kept staring at her. She wished he would just remove that damn helmet again. She had seen him without it when his child had been taken but he had gone right back to his cult’s mindset after. 

“My sister’s birthday was today,” Bo-Katan said, ending the silence. She couldn’t believe she had said this. Talking about Satine… it was so hard. It caused her heart to ache. Bo-Katan would remember all her many mistakes. “She was… nothing like me.” 

Memories came back of Bo-Katan as a tiny child when she would spend hours making gifts for Satine. Their mother would make passive aggressive comments about how Bo-Katan’s gifts weren’t very good and how she wasn’t good at much of anything, but Satine’s face had always lit up and she would kiss Bo-Katan’s forehead and say how much she loved each gift… 

Bo-Katan’s stomach twisted and she clutched it. Oh, Satine… She’d never stop being sorry for what happened to her. Bo wanted to wipe at her eyes, but she couldn’t show weakness. No, not in front of Din Djarin or anyone.

“Bo-Katan, are you okay?” Din asked. 

“Perfect. Wonderful obviously,” Bo spat out. She cleared her voice, regretting being so much like herself. “How are you?” 

“I just… I think Grogu would like this holiday.” 

Bo-Katan raised an eyebrow. “Grogu cares about romance? Maybe he has a future as a romance writer.” 

There was a long silence and then Din… Did he actually almost laugh? She must be having hearing problems because Din Djarin didn’t laugh. Bo-Katan wasn’t convinced he knew how to do such a thing.

“I meant he’d like the candy and things like that. That kid… he loved desserts. Really any kind of food.” 

Bo-Katan almost wanted to smile, but she didn’t let herself. “When I was a kid, I loved candy and sweets too. I was obsessed with macarons.” 

“Grogu was too,” Din said. Bo-Katan didn’t need to see his face to know that he was smiling. She could hear it in his voice. “Once Cara and Greef Karga made me leave him in a school, and when I picked him up the teacher was trying to tell me how he stole a kid’s macarons.” 

“Maybe the other kid should have shared them with Grogu.” Bo-Katan shrugged. After all it was the least the kid could have done.

“That was what I said but… It didn’t go over well. Or it wouldn’t have if I had been able to stay, but I was in a hurry to get him out of there.” 

“Teachers. They can be like that. At least mine were. They were always complaining about how me and the other students liked to play fight and have pretend battles.” 

“But you’re Mandalorian,” Din said. 

“Yes, but teachers are teachers.” Though Bo-Katan couldn’t blame them completely. She had been a challenging student in most subjects. She loved history and PE but usually she found it hard to concentrate. And then her teachers would tell her how she should be more like Satine who had always gotten perfect grades. 

Bo-Katan cleared her throat. “Anyway, next Valentine’s Day you can get the kid hyper with sugar and chocolate and macarons. Sounds like he has good taste.” 

“Next Valentine’s Day?” Din asked. 

“Yes.” Bo didn’t even hesitate. Grogu would be with him then. Bo-Katan just knew it. 

Din stared at her or at least she imagined he was. Finally, he ended his silence. “You don’t seem to excited about Valentine’s Day.” 

“It’s a complicated holiday for me.” Bo-Katan made air-quotes over holiday. “Oh, and like I said, it was my sister’s birthday.” 

“Your sister, the late Duchess Satine,” Din said

Bo stumbled backward, shocked he would say that. Shocked that he even knew that. She shouldn’t have been. She had done her research too. He hadn’t even told her his real name, but she knew it. 

“Yes, Satine.” Bo-Katan looked away at the stars. She remembered a story Satine had told her about the heroes who had been immortalized in the stars. Who people believed would always live there. It was mythological nonsense but she had loved it at the time. It had been some of the many stories Satine had told her when she was afraid, not that Bo would have ever admit feeling fear. It had been Satine had to go with the Jedi to stay safe. 

“Your sister… She was—“

“A way better person than me.” Not that that was saying much. Sometimes Bo-Katan hated herself, especially on days like this. Other times she could understand that she did what she had to survive. It was just hard to remember at times. 

Din was silent as if he was trying to think of the right thing to say.

“You don’t need to act like it’s not true,” Bo-Katan said. “I know it is.” Hell, most people were better than her. “My sister was close to a saint but she…” Bo-Katan shook her head. The galaxy wasn’t ready for her views and they never would be. Her views just weren’t realistic. True peace could never be achieved, but Satine deserved so much more than what she got. 

“You’re not that bad, Bo-Katan,” Din said, which just showed how little he knew. 

“You were worried I would kill you,” Bo-Katan said without any emotion. Obviously, he thought she was bad or at least dangerous. And plus, there had been a moment when Bo-Katan had considered killing him when he first came in with the Darksaber after rescuing Grogu. She could have ended him. She knew how she would do it. It played out so quickly in her head. 

But she hadn’t. And she felt horrible for considering it. It was a thought that had horrified her as soon as it came up. A thought that just proved what a shit person she could be.

Din was silence, obviously he realized that she was right about that.

“I’m not going to murder you. I’m more worried about you when we get to the Mandalore System.” She might accept him as a Mandalorian, but some wouldn’t. Some of them would challenge him to combat and they might not spare him. 

But… Bo-Katan was wouldn’t let them kill him. Maybe she shouldn’t have cared, but she did. Maybe it was because of how he was with Grogu. Most people wouldn’t have cared so much about a child who wasn’t theirs. 

“You’re—” 

“Din, I have something for you.” 

Now it was Din’s turn to stumble back. She had never used his name before. 

“I… How do you know my name?” 

She smirked and shrugged. “Din Djarin. Don’t worry. It’s just you’re not the only one who can do research.” She took a few steps forward and then motioned for him to follow. Maybe this was a mistake but she had been thinking about it for awhile. 

Din followed her. She led them to their living quarters and then had him wait by the door of hers while she went in hers. It was really a miracle she still had this and she had brought it. It had left her at times before, but after Korkie had left, it had come back to her. She was surprised he hadn’t taken it since… No, she couldn’t think about that now. It hurt too much. She took the blanket and placed it close to her face for a short moment. 

Now was time to go back to Din. But she paused. Doing this… She would be showing a part of herself that she didn’t usually. Din Djarin thought she was strong. Axe and Koska did too. He could end that just by mentioning this. 

But he should have it. 

So she went out the door and offered it to Din. 

Din stared at it for a long time at least she assumed he was. Then he looked at her. “This blanket…” 

“It’s yours.” Bo-Katan tried not to show any emotions. This was hard enough as it was. “Don’t you remember?” Maybe it meant nothing to him and this was a stupid gesture. She shouldn’t be getting sentimental, even if she thought Satine would want her to do this. It was a birthday present to Satine, but she was dead. Killed by the weapon Din Djarin now had. Bo-Katan was being ridiculous. 

And yet…

“It…” Din took the blanket from her and took his gloves off so he could rub it in his fingers. Even after all these years, it was still soft. “My mother made this.” 

“I…” Wow… Bo-Katan hadn’t known that. For all she knew, that blanket could have been nothing to him. Something that he was given with the other foundlings. And yet… part of her didn’t think that was true. That there had been more to it. She closed her eyes, trying to remember what happened, but then pushed it away. “I thought you should have it back.”

Din stared at her. “Bo-Katan, that means you were…”

Every part of her screamed to deny it. She could say someone else gave it to her and yet she couldn’t. Not today. Not now. 

So she nodded. 

“Yes.”

*** 

-Many Years Ago- 

“I can’t believe they’re having them come here,” Ursa said as she sat next to Bo near their camp. They were both by the fire and Ursa was leaning back in her chair. The two of them liked to have fires sometimes and today it was cold, which made it perfect. 

Bo-Katan shrugged and looked at the fire. “They’re part of Death Watch.” Just a weird part of them. She looked over at the ones who had come here. Of course, all the adults were wearing their helmets because that was the way. They never took them off. However, they also had some foundlings who weren’t wearing them. 

At least they didn’t make them wear them when they were young. 

Ursa leaned back on her chair again. “Bo-Katan, today’s Valentine’s Day.” 

Bo-Katan nodded. “And you shouldn’t be here. You should be out there with some sexy artist. I know that’s what you like. Don’t you have a new one?” Bo-Katan knew for sure she did but it wasn’t even that new. Ursa really was into this one. Ursa would whisper in the night how sweet he was and how she thought he might be the one. Recently she started to say that he was the one. 

Bo-Katan was starting to think he might be good enough for her friend even. 

“Oh, Bo-Katan, I can’t be gone on this day. It would look suspicious,” Ursa said with the corners of her mouth threatening to form into a smile, at least for a moment. And then it vanished. “And I know today is hard for you because it’s the Duchess’s birthday.” 

Bo-Katan’s stomach fell and she was about to respond to that, but she didn’t get a chance. 

“Bo-Katan, Bo-Katan, Bo-Katan,” Pre said as he came over to them. The air seemed to change instantly as he did. It got colder. Bo-Katan wanted to shiver, but of course she didn’t. She couldn’t. She never would. 

“Pre,” she said, standing up and putting her hands behind her back. “I’m glad to see you.” 

Bo-Katan could feel Ursa looking at the two of them. Recently Ursa had been telling Bo-Katan how she was so worried about her. How she didn’t like how Pre looked at Bo-Katan and how he acted around her. How she was still young, and even if she hadn’t been, it was weird since he had so much power over her. He was the leader of Death Watch after all. 

Ursa didn’t even know the whole story. Bo-Katan had thought about telling her. Really, she had. She was like a sister to her. More than Satine at some times, even though Bo-Katan still loved Satine, even though she knew she shouldn’t. She wouldn’t have been able to tell Satine the whole story either. Ursa wouldn’t approve and neither would Satine.

Satine really wouldn’t.

But Bo-Katan was doing what she had to. Right? It wasn’t like she really had a choice and it hadn’t gone that far. 

“You should be,” Pre said. He moved closer to her and smiled at her in only the way he could. Bo-Katan smiled back in the way she had trained herself to. A soldier could hide their true emotions. He touched her hair. “I need to speak to you. Today’s a special day.” 

“I—” Bo-Katan tried to say.

Ursa shot up, knocking her chair to the ground. Her eyes were wide. She wasn’t trying to hide her emotions. “Pre Vizsla, I… I really need Bo-Katan right now.” Ursa actually reached toward Bo and pulled her to her. Relief filled Bo-Katan for a moment, but she pushed it away. Ursa shouldn’t be doing this. “Bo-Katan and I are doing something important. I need her.” 

Pre looked at her and then smirked. “Really, Ursa? I know you’re not doing anything with Bo-Katan.” 

“That’s not true. We—” 

“No, it’s okay, Ursa. It’s really okay.” Bo-Katan wasn’t going to let Ursa ruin things for herself. Ursa already helped Bo-Katan more than she deserved and she would not let her place herself on Pre’s shit list for her. “We can work on that later.” 

Ursa’s eyes widened. “Bo-Katan…” She narrowed her eyes at Pre and put her hands on her hips and tried to stand up straighter. “You… Bo’s only a teenager. She’s still young. You better not…” 

No! She couldn’t be doing this. She really couldn’t. Why couldn’t Ursa think about herself and her future? She was fucking everything up for herself.

“I better not what, Wren?” Pre asked, his voice dangerous. For a moment, he put his hand on the Darksaber. No! No! No! Bo-Katan wouldn’t let him hurt Ursa. 

“It’s fine.” Bo-Katan put her hand on Pre’s chest, which would hopefully calm him down. She didn’t want him to get mad at Ursa. She’d do anything for Ursa. “I want to go with you. We should talk.” 

Please let Ursa shut up. She was too good of a friend. No—not just a friend—Ursa was her sister. Not by blood, but still. 

“Yes, it’s fine, Ursa. Maybe you should mind your business,” Pre said, putting his arm around Bo-Katan’s waist. She didn’t react. She couldn’t react. No… She could do something. She forced herself to lean closer to him. That was what she was supposed to do. “Trust me, it’s fine.” 

Ursa’s eyes widened, but she stayed quiet now. Good. It was better for Ursa if she did. Please let her not do anything.

Bo-Katan let Pre lead her to his place when he wasn’t at his much fancier place that he went to when he couldn’t stand the sight of any of them, which happened when Bo-Katan was lucky. Today she wasn’t. This place looked the same as always and yet… Something felt off to Bo-Katan today. 

“So the Children of the Watch are here,” Bo said, trying to get rid of the tension in the air. “I’m surprised you would want them to be here.” She put a hand on her hip and walked a couple steps away from Pre. 

He was still close. 

He smirked and walked away from her and poured some Tihaar in two cups. He handed one to her and then took a large drink out of his. Bo-Katan just clutched hers tightly. 

“Yeah, they’re here. They’re freaks, but they’re under my control so I respect them. It’s good they’re here,” Pre said. He drank more of his alcohol and then looked at Bo-Katan.

“Yes, of course, Pre.” What was wrong with her? She was usually smarter and wittier than this. She was good at handling Pre. At least that was what she told herself all the time. And yet today… It had to be because today was Satine’s birthday and Valentine’s Day. It threw her off. 

And something was just wrong. 

Pre came over and touched her cheek. “You don’t need to worry about those people, Bo-Katan. You don’t need to have anything to do with them.” 

“As if I’m worried about them.” Bo-Katan finally took a drink of the alcohol, hoping it would calm her nerves. Maybe she needed more. “Are they going to be here—“ 

“I don’t want to talk about them.” And with that Pre pushed her backward and kissed her passionately. The alcohol spilled all over the floor, but Pre wouldn’t care and neither did Bo-Katan. All she could do was kiss him back. It didn’t even surprise her at this point even though it was sudden. This was how it could be with him. When he kissed her, at the best of times, she felt little to nothing. Sometimes it was nice for a short time but after she felt guilty. At the worst… well, she didn’t like to think of how she would felt dirty and gross. No… She would just push those thoughts away and do what she knew she had to. 

Returning his kiss wasn’t that hard really. She knew what he liked. Really it was easy at this point. Even if she felt like she wasn’t herself. Sometimes it was like she was out of her body. 

Probably easier that way. 

And she was about to get to that place where he would try things, but she could manage that too. But then he tried something he didn’t usually do and put her hand under the waistband of her pants. Bo-Katan didn’t even think. She just pushed him away. It was just… She just… 

And then Pre laughed as if the whole thing was a joke. “Oh, Bo-Katan, Bo-Katan.” He smiled even wider. “Or should I say Bo. Little Bo. After all, Ursa clearly thinks that you’re still some kind of child.” 

She sort of felt like little Bo, but she once again tried not to react, but she didn’t know how she was supposed to act to this. Oh, wait. That wasn’t true. She did, but she… She didn’t want to do that. He’d been wanting to do more to her. But it didn’t feel right to her and she was terrified she’d get pregnant.

Pre would probably like that. 

“Pre-I…” She needed to think. Come up with something to tell him. Part of her wanted to use Ursa for an excuse, but no way she would do that. She wouldn’t even mention Ursa. He was probably suspicious of her. And she wouldn’t let that get worse. “I’m on my period.” 

There. It wasn’t going to work but there. 

Pre laughed yet again. “I don’t believe you. You said that before.” He grabbed her and yanked her close to him. Too close. She could smell his sweat. Sometimes she almost convinced herself she liked his smell but now…No… She couldn’t. She wanted to gag. “And I’m Mandalorian. I don’t mind a bit of blood.” He gripped her red hair. “Maybe it’s better.” 

“It’s… Wouldn’t it—” 

Pre’s eyes lit up with anger. Bo half expected him to slap her. “Bo-Katan, I know you think you’re special. After all your sister is that traitorous bitch duchess.” 

Bo-Katan cringed, even though normally she wouldn’t have. She trained herself not to react to Pre’s threats and insults toward her sister. She could even force herself to look happy sometimes. She hated Satine’s idealistic impossible views and at times she could convince herself Satine was something of a traitor but…

“You know what, Bo-Katan.” His hand was on her thigh. She didn’t move. “You think you’re important since you’re a Kryze. Nice blue blood. But you’re not important. You were just a fucking spare. Someone there in case Satine happens to bite the dust. You’re not important.” He kissed her neck. Nibbling on it. 

Bo-Katan just stood there. She wished she could somehow escape. Maybe not literally, but at least in her mind. Sometimes when he kissed and touched her, she could be elsewhere but now… 

“But I could make you more important,” Pre said. He was so close. She could feel him. Really almost all of him. “I could make you a quee—”

“I don’t want that!” Bo-Katan spat out. Probably a mistake. 

“Oh yes, you do. You’re no fucking saint.” He touched her cheek. “You’re like me. You’re a horrible person.” 

She had never said that she wasn’t a horrible person. She knew she was. How could she not when she had done some of the things she had? Sometimes… sometimes when she should be sleeping she imagined what it would be like if she hadn’t joined Death Watch. Yes, she believed Mandalore shouldn’t be pretending to be peaceful, but maybe she could have made Satine listen to her. Maybe things could have been different. 

But they weren’t. So what did it matter?

And she had joined Death Watch wanting to save Mandalore. Everything she did was for Mandalore. If they continued Satine’s way then they’d be invaded. Bo-Katan didn’t know if it would be by the Republic or the Separatists, but did it matter? During war everyone was the same. If they took Mandalore, her people would suffer. They would die or worse…. Or worse… Sometimes in war, the ones who died were lucky. 

“I…” 

“You know, Bo-Katan, if you want maybe I can go deal with Ursa.” He raised an eyebrow. “I know she has a new man. Maybe Ursa would like to tell me about her new man. Maybe he would like to see what the Darksaber can do. Maybe both of them would.” 

No! No! No! She wouldn’t let him hurt Ursa or her boyfriend. Ursa cared about him. Bo-Katan saw how her eyes lit up when she talked about him. And more importantly… she saw when Ursa would stroke her stomach when she thought no one was looking. How she held it protectively. Satine had done that when she was pregnant with Korkie. 

Bo-Katan prayed she was wrong, but she knew she wasn’t. 

“Pre, I… I want you,” Bo-Katan said because she had to. Right? 

He grinned. “You know you’re getting everything you deserve, Bo-Katan. You’re no fucking saint. And you know you want this just as much as me.” 

What happened next… Bo-Katan didn’t want to think about it. She just wished she was elsewhere. No… that wasn’t true. She wished she was someone else. It didn’t even matter who. Just not Bo-Katan Kryze. Her body felt like it didn’t belong to her. It was something foreign. Something foreign that she hated.

Pre fucked like he fought. Like a warrior. Aggressive and commanding and without any hesitation. Bo-Katan had always liked watching him fight but this… now she wasn’t sure. This hurt, but after the things Bo-Katan had done she deserved to be in pain. 

When it was done he rolled off her. Bo-Katan didn’t even react. She was worried if she did, she would do something wrong. Maybe something that convinced him for a round two. 

“See, you didn’t need to be so reluctant.” Pre looked at her. Studying her. 

“Yeah… Yeah, sure,” Bo-Katan said, feeling that he wanted her to say something. She wasn’t able to come up with anything better than that at the moment. 

He smirked. “I sort of wish you had fought me. It would have been fun to show you it wouldn’t have made a difference.”

All she could do was stare at him. Pre sighed and then got some more alcohol which he drank quickly. She didn’t know what he would do next, but luckily, he fell asleep soon after. He clutched onto her, but she pulled away and got dressed as she quickly as she could. She had to get out of this house. 

Get out of here for awhile. 

And so she did just that.

“Bo!” someone yelled as soon as she stepped outside. Ursa. It had to be Ursa. Only Ursa called her Bo… And Satine… And now apparently Pre… 

Bo-Katan ignored her. She ran and ran until she couldn’t run anymore. And then she fell to her knees, not carrying. She probably wasn’t that far. Running in forests was frankly a pain in the ass, but she couldn’t hear the camp and the others and that was all that mattered. 

She was such a fucking idiot. So stupid. She shouldn’t even care. Pre was right. She did deserve this. Frankly after what she had done she deserved worse. And obviously he’d want to have sex with her. She was so fucking stupid. 

Her stomach twisted. She might be sick. She might be sick. No… That wasn’t correct. She was going to be sick.

But then when she tried to throw up, nothing came out. Nothing. She couldn’t even do this right. Her body… It didn’t even do this when she wanted it to. It almost felt like her body didn’t belong to her. 

Bo-Katan clutched her knees and pulled them to her chest. She buried her face in her knees, but she didn’t cry. She just… She sat there so close to crying. Bo-Katan didn’t know for how long. Awhile. 

A branch snapped behind her. 

Bo-Katan shot up and spun around. Pre. It would be Pre. 

But it wasn’t. 

It was a little boy. Probably about ten or so. So about six or so years younger than her. His dark brown eyes widened when he saw her reaction and he stumbled backward. Afraid of her. She couldn’t blame him.

“You’re not supposed to be here.” Bo-Katan’s voice broke. “You’re…” 

“I saw you,” the boy said. His eyes widening more. His dark brown hair fell in his face slightly. “You… You looked really sad.” 

Bo-Katan couldn’t believe this. Was this some kind of horrible trick? No… This wasn’t the kind of game Pre would play. Unless he was going to show up and murder the kid, but he had been passed out. He couldn’t fake that. 

“I’m Din,” the boy said. He took a tentative step toward her. 

“I’m… I’m Bo.” Why did she even bother saying something like that? This kid had to be a child of the watch. Which actually was good because if he was in normal Death Watch, it might get around what a mess she was. She had been close to crying. 

“Are you okay?” the boy asked. “I saw you leave that man’s and…” 

Damn it! Probably everyone in all of Death Watch had. They’d think she was a mess at best. And at worst… Bo-Katan didn’t even want to think about it. 

“I’m…” Bo couldn’t finish her sentence and placed her face back in her knees. 

The boy came over and sat next to her. “I brought you something.” 

Bo looked up and saw a blanket. It was red and she could tell it was so soft. She didn’t want to take it and yet she did. She put it over her knees and buried her face in it. Somehow it made her feel a tiny bit better. Not much but… the kid—Din—was nice. Nicer than most people she knew. 

He was sweet. And a kid like that would never make it how they lived. He would either die or would be ruined and made hard and violent. 

“It was my mom’s before…” He bit his lip. “But she would want you to have it. You’re upset and she would want me to help.” 

Bo-Katan was about to say a blanket couldn’t help her, but she didn’t get a chance. Ursa came running over and grabbed Bo. 

“Bo-Katan. Bo!” she hugged her so tightly. Then she pulled away. “Should I not touch you? Are you okay? Did Pre…?” 

Bo-Katan couldn’t even answer. She just looked off to the side. The boy was leaving. Maybe she should say something. But she didn’t. 

“Bo… I… I’m here for you. I’m here for you.” Ursa wrapped her arms around her and Bo-Katan buried her face against her. Bo clutched the blanket the whole time as if it would somehow save her. “I’m always here for you.” 

And this was when Bo-Katan let herself cry for the first time in years. She knew Ursa wouldn’t care. That she would be there for her. She was her sister, despite that the two of them shared no blood. 

*** 

-The Mandalorian Timeline-

Din couldn’t say anything at first but it didn’t matter because she was lost in thought. Probably about that day. Din just held that red blanket that his mother had made all those years ago and stared at Bo-Katan. He hadn’t even remembered what that girl’s name had been. It had been so long ago. He just remembered seeing her leave that tent and how sad she had looked. 

Her eyes… They had made him feel like nothing could ever be right. And back then Din had been different. He wanted to help her even though he had been innocent then and didn’t know exactly what probably happened to her. Now Din… he could imagine. It happened before he had become hard. Before he told himself that he had to think about himself first to survive. 

And then he got Grogu and…

Little Din had just wanted to try and help that teenage girl.

“You… It helped. It was just a blanket, but it helped a little bit,” Bo-Katan said. 

“I was stupid,” Din said. “I just…” Now he could imagine what probably happened to her but then he just saw she was sad. Like a blanket was going to make her feel better after being assaulted by the leader of Death Watch. 

“It was a nice gesture, but now I don’t need your blanket, and I’m sure it was probably your mom or dad’s and you should have it.” 

Din could only stare at her. He almost felt bad about having his helmet on when she was saying this. Din hadn’t understood what was going on back then. Even when he had run back to the person who saved him from the droids and told him, he didn’t understand despite how he had shaken his head and muttered something about Pre Viszla being cruel to women. The girl—Bo-Katan—had been so upset. 

He paused about to take the helmet off. It didn’t feel right having it on when she had revealed this? And besides, she had already seen him without it. Not just her but Koska, Fennec, Cara, and even Luke. Mayfeld had before that even. 

And Grogu had seen him without it too. 

“You don’t need to do this.” Bo sighed putting her hands up. “This doesn’t need to be some cheesy bonding experience. And I know it’s hard for you to accept you don’t need to wear the helmet all the time. You were in a cult and I… I was…” She didn’t finish her sentence and shook her head. “I just understand.” 

“It doesn’t matter. You’ve already—”

“It obviously does to you,” Bo-Katan said. “So go ahead and keep your helmet on even though it’s strange.” 

Din paused but then did just that. 

“I understand what it’s like to be told your whole life that things are one way and then to find out they’re not. That the one is more complicated than you thought.” She shook her head and sighed. 

“Bo-Katan, I don’t…” He didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t known what to say then and he didn’t now. He had just wanted to help her when he was a kid. He knew it was what his parents would want him to do so he had done the best he had. But obviously it wouldn’t have been enough. 

"Don’t tell Koska and Axe about...” She paused. “All of this.” 

“I wouldn’t do something like that,” Din said. “I mean it, Bo-Katan. I wouldn’t.” It probably had been hard for her to even admit that had been her in the past. He wasn’t going to be an asshole and mention this to the others.

“I didn’t bring you here so we could have some bonding moment.” She looked at him and titled her head to the side. “I gave you the blanket so you could give it to your son. Grogu, right?” 

“Yeah, Grogu.” 

Din remembered how Grogu had been so happy when Din had first said his name. The kid had looked right at him. Pure joy. 

“But Grogu is being trained by the Jedi.” 

Bo made a huffing noise. “He’s going to come back to you. He’s a Mandalorian now too. Everyone can see you’re like a father to him.” 

“I am his father,” Din said, clutching the blanket. 

“Yes, you are his father,” Bo said. “And when he comes back, you can give him that blanket. It belongs in your family and now it will be.” 

Din paused and then nodded. Grogu would like it. Maybe not as much eggs or frogs, but still.

“He’ll want to be with you and he will be.” She studied him curiously. “We’re all going to take Mandalore back and then Grogu will get to live in the Mandalore he deserves to.” She shrugged. “I don’t know who is going to rule it. Maybe it’ll be you, maybe me, or maybe even little Sabine Wren. Actually she’s not little anymore.” Din didn’t know who Sabine Wren was and Din didn’t want to rule Mandalore. He didn’t want the Darksaber, but he didn’t get the chance to say that for the millionth time in the last month. “But things are going to be better for Mandalore. For all of us. And you and your son will be there.” 

Din paused and then nodded. The thought of Grogu coming back… Maybe he shouldn’t like it. Maybe he should stick by the thought that he was meant to be a Jedi, but it got harder to every day. 

And the thought Grogu coming back felt right. 

Bo-Katan put her hand on his shoulder and actually smiled at him. 

“This is the way,” Din said, his voice sounding strange at first, but then gaining confidence.

“This is the way.” 

Bo-Katan didn’t say anything else and walked off. Leaving Din alone with his thoughts.

She was right about something. He would be reunited with Grogu. That really was the way.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this story, please comment or leave kudos. Feel free also to read my other story about little Bo-Katan.


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